"A video trailer for an online book launch? That's crazy! I've never launched my novels with a video."
My book publicist cynically replied, "What did you use back then: clay tablets?"
"But a video trailer for a book? This isn't The Avengers at Imax with popcorn. Books are the last bastion of artistic integrity in the mud-wrestling pit of commercial . . ."
"You want to sell books? Videos are what the hot-shot authors are doing. We'll put your trailer up on YouTube, embed it on JosephAmiel.com, your website, and attach it to your tweets."
"My teats? Don't try to tell me Danielle Steele puts up with that."
"Tweets! Authors are out there tweeting and interacting with their fans."
"I already do that on JosephAmiel.com. All that information you tell me I should be putting up there."
"Not enough. It's a Grisham eat DeMille world out there. But you've got an edge: You're also a film-maker. Don't you have that web series on YouTube about people in prison for life?"
"Ain't That Life is a comedy web series that has nothing to do with prison. Look, those novelists with videos probably already have loads of fans who'll watch them."
My publicist wasn't giving up. "You have fans, too. We just have to alert them that you have a book about to be released."
"And they'll eagerly crawl out of the burrows and caves where they're hiding."
"Exactly. And what better way to announce that you're launching a courtroom thriller than with a video book trailer? Set it in a real courtroom with actors who look like your main characters."
"It will take a lot of time, but I guess it makes sense."
"And you've also got to blog."
"Blog? What could I possibly blog about?"
"You're not too swift, are you?"
"Ok, I get it: I'll write a blog about creating a video that's about a book I've written. And I'll tweet about my blog that's about creating a video that's about . . ."
"You're beginning to catch on."
"It seems like I'm doing all the publicity here."
"Check our contract: My title is "Publicity Advisor."
"Just one question: Those successful authors who are making trailers and tweeting and interacting with their fans and blogging, when do they have time to write their books?"
"If you want to hire me as your Writing Advisor, I can try to come up with an answer for that."